I know many of my readers were big fans of Lawdog's blog (as was/am I, for that matter). Due to reasons beyond his control, he hasn't been actively blogging for a while, and we aren't sure when that will change. However, he continues to share stories with an "inner circle" on some more private social media, and he gave me permission to share this one with you.
So, today the Chief Deputy drapes an arm across my shoulders and says, "'Dog, I've got a complaint from a local attorney regarding one of our lieutenants."
I squint at him, not really knowing where this is going.
"Apparently this lieutenant asked the attorney if he was aware that the legal Bar wasn't actually a brass pole."
Oh. I look at the Chief over my glasses, "Is this the same attorney with the paralegal who was almost wearing a skin-tight, lemon-yellow belt as a dress in jury trial last week?"
"Whose G-string was tuned to an 'A'?"
"Now, 'Dog ..."
"The only thing keeping her non-OEM sweater puppies from rampaging through the prosecution like a pair of squishy Saint Bernards was one panicking zipper and the grace of multiple gods."
There's a very liquid sneeze behind us. I turn around and the Detective Captain has apparently blown his triple-shot venti mocha through his sinuses. Damned waste.
I look back at my boss, who is firmly massaging the bridge of his nose. "'Dog, seems like maybe she wasn't strictly following the court dress code, but ..."
"She had roses on her knickers."
"Fourteen of them."
"Number eight was missing a petal."
There's a long sigh. His Migraine Salute gets more brisk, "'Dog, have we had the Diplomacy Discussion lately?"
I think for a moment. "December."
"Pretend we just had it again. Go forth, and sin no more."
I have Lawdog's permission to share a few other stories with you from time to time, so watch this space! (It's handy living in the same town as he does. One can apply
violence bribery "moral 'suasion" in such matters.)