Monday, June 28, 2010

Doofus Of The Day #367

Today's winner is from Coventry, England.

A hapless thief soon discovered he had chosen the wrong house to burgle when he came face-to-face with the owner - a 20-stone [280-pound] wrestler.

Lee Christie had grabbed a laptop and was about to make his escape when Adam Kalinowski returned home.

Father-of-one Adam, 37, wrestled Christie to the ground then got him in a headlock.

The factory worker held on to the 6ft 2in burglar - who began to cry and begged to be released - until police arrived at the address in Coventry.

Mr Kalinowski said: 'I came home and saw the door was broken. I saw the man, and I mean this guy was big, but I didn't know what he was doing there or what was in his bag. He could have had a knife.

'Maybe it was the adrenalin, but I wasn't scared because this is my house, my castle, as they say in England.'

'He looked at me and said; 'Oh, s**t!' and pushed me against the wall so I gave him a kick in the stomach and that slowed him down.'

'I know how to wrestle and I like fighting sports, so I got him in a Nelson headlock.

'He was trying to get up, so I had to punch him in the head. My neighbour called the police and I held him until they came.

'He was crying and saying "Leave me alone" but he was lucky I didn't kill him because of the way I felt at the time.'

. . .

Christie, of Tile Hill, Coventry, was sentenced to two years in prison after admitting burglary at Coventry Crown Court.

There's more at the link.

Rules for wannabe burglars:

  1. Make sure your proposed victim isn't at home, and won't be coming home, during your 'visit';
  2. Make sure he's not bigger and brawnier than you are - as well as experienced in the manly arts of beating you to a pulp!

Still, it's kinda nice when bad things happen to bad people . . .



Anonymous said...

I suspect shortly we will be reading about the popo arresting Mr. Kalinowski for illegally detaining someone.

Shrimp said...

Sad to say, that was my first thought, as well.

Groundhog said...

Agreed. Surely he violated the criminals rights or something. I mean, he made him cry for goodness sakes! Oh the humanity...

Anonymous said...

The gomer walked away, he should be glad for that.