Today's winner is from Oklahoma.
A felon was jailed after he told police he shot himself in the genitals while preparing a gun for sale.
. . .
He told police he bought a gun on the street in Kansas and had planned to sell it in a convenience store parking lot near SE 44 and Shields Boulevard. On the way there, he pulled over to make sure the gun functioned properly.
The gun went off while he was in his car in a parking lot near SE 15 and Interstate 35. He panicked and drove himself to the hospital, he told police.
There's more at the link.
He'd better talk to the prison chaplain. After this, he can definitely claim to be "hole-ier than thou"!