Saturday, May 2, 2015

Sad Puppies attack!

A few days ago I put up an article titled 'When SWAT teams meet their (literary) match'.  It linked to a series of very funny vignettes by fellow author and blogger Declan Finn about various individuals involved in the controversy over the Hugo Awards.

Declan's concluded his series with a final article, providing a couple more vignettes and a magnificent all-out brawl at this year's WorldCon (where the Hugos will be awarded).  Here's a sample.


[WorldCon is practically empty, for a Con. A borderline ghost town of two thousand people.  If DragonCon is New York City, WorldCon is Detroit.  Suddenly, the ground shakes. The front windows rattle. It feels like an earthquake!  Suddenly, the squeal of brakes as a tank rumbles to a stop outside.]

[Tom "His Tankness" Knighton pops out of the Abrams] We're here everybody!

[The International Lord Of Hate himself, Larry Correia, pulls himself out. He is bristling with guns -- handguns in hip, thigh, ankle, and shoulder holsters, a bazooka and two automatic rifles on his back, and a LMG cradled in his hand like a baby.  His MOLLE vest is covered with ammo. He looks like a heavily-armed mountain] Thanks for the lift, Tom.

[Sarah Hoyt, the Beautiful Yet Evil Space Princess beams herself onto the sidewalk from inside the tank. She is dressed like Erin Gray from Buck Rodgers, wrapped in tin foil, with a bubble helmet] I'm just glad that there wasn't another stop for gas.

[Knighton shrugs]  Sorry. Cruddy mileage. Could have been worse --

[A belch of flame comes out of the top of the tank, Brad Torgersen, the Warm and Cuddly Skeletor bounds out like a kid with a toy]  Whhhheeeee!!!

[Knighton sighs] --we could have left the flamethrower with Brad on the way here.

[Brad sprays the air with the flamthrower for a bit, then stops, and notices that everyone is looking at him. Like a kid with a cookie jar, he puts the flame on "cigarette lighter" and lowers it]  Sorry.

[Sarah pats him on the head] It's okay.

There's more at the link.  Great fun, and highly recommended reading.


1 comment:

Declan Finn said...

For the record? You're now part of the group who have been SWATted. Yes, SWATted by popular request. :)