Thursday, July 31, 2008

Doofus Of The Day #54

Ye Gods and little fishes.

Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.

Well, I guess sex with an umbrella hole qualifies as a shady practice, all right!


Mr. Price's exploits have even made it into the Urban Dictionary:

I'm sorry I missed your call. I was out in the back yard giving my lawn chair the old 'Art Price, Jr.'


1 comment:

Christina LMT said...

To me, it sounded like he wanted to be caught, or that he's an exhibitionist who gets his jollies from being observed, otherwise, why would he have his sexcapades in the middle of the day?