Today's Doofus is from China - and appears to be worthless, as well as a dumbass.
A businessman who held a knock-out contest to decide which of his five mistresses to keep has been ordered to pay £60,000 after one died.
Donglu Fan organised singing, modelling and drinking tests for his secret lovers but was sued after one was killed while celebrating.
He wanted to narrow the five down to one because he could not afford them all in the credit crunch, he said.
Donglu, 43, revealed: "It was a simple knockout competition.
"The first phase was a personality test, then there was a modelling and singing competition.
"And in the end, a drinking contest where the winner was the one still standing after drinking the most."
A victor emerged but the win turned to tragedy when the five – who included two of the factory owner's employees, and a waitress – went for a celebratory drive.
Their car went over the side of a cliff, injuring four of the women and killing the other.
The dead woman's family then sued Mr Donglu, of Qingdao in China, and he must pay them £60,000.
Worse was to come for the businessman – his wife now says she is divorcing him.
If that's his attitude towards women, one can only wonder why she didn't divorce him long ago!