Today is the 'birthday' of the United States Marine Corps. Congratulations and best wishes to all the current and former Devil Dogs among my readers.
I have a personal 'soft spot' for the Marines because several of them were among my instructors in the South African armed forces during the 1970's. They'd fought Communism in South-East Asia for many years, and decided they'd rather go on doing that than return to a country that they felt had rejected them and their service. They accordingly signed up with the South African Army, gravitating to a number of its special-purpose and Special Forces units. They were very, very good, and some of the things I learned from them kept me alive over the next decade and a half. I probably wouldn't be here without them.
I'm sure many readers are familiar with the military-satire 'Duffel Blog'. It came out with an absolute masterpiece to mark this year's anniversary. Here's an excerpt.
In response to an investigation initiated by the Marine Corps Times, a spokesman for God has confirmed that because of a paperwork error Marines have actually been guarding the streets of Hell for the past 200 years.
“Don’t get me wrong, we briefly did have Marines on guard up here,” St. Peter told The Duffel Blog, “but they kept making all the new angels stand at parade rest and conduct police calls for cigarette butts at four in the morning.”
. . .
According to St. Peter, God was eventually forced to replace the Marines: first with the Coast Guard, so they would have at least one legitimate mission, but eventually with the Air Force, although Heaven lacks the typical amenities found on most airbases and is considered a hardship tour by most Airmen.
Marines seemed like a better fit for Hell anyways, St. Peter explained. “In the several hundred years since we’ve had this arrangement, we’ve never had a single complaint from down there,” he said.
St. Peter led this reporter over to the edge of Heaven, where Hell was distantly visible down below. He paused while listening to faint shrieking, drowned out by the heavy report of what sounded like a Mark 19 grenade launcher and followed by unnaturally deep booming laughter.
“God only knows what they’re doing down there,” he said while shaking his head, “and even He probably doesn’t since they revoked His security clearance last year.”
There's more at the link. Side-splittingly funny to those who know the Devil Dogs!
EDITED TO ADD: CenTexTim has his own roster of USMC funnies for the anniversary. Recommended.