Monday, December 29, 2014

Dave Barry sums up 2014


The inimitable Dave Barry has put up his annual survey of the year just past.  Here are a few highlights from 2014.

JANUARY

In Colorado, the new year begins on a “high” note as the sale of recreational marijuana becomes legal. Despite dire predictions from critics that this will lead to increases in crime and addiction, state law-enforcement officials report that if you stare for a while at the flashing lights on top of their cars, you can see some amazing colors.

FEBRUARY

President Obama hosts a state dinner for French President François “Le Muffin de Stud” Hollande, who arrives at the White House driving a red scooter with two women riding on the back and three more chasing on foot.

MARCH

General Motors recalls 1.5 million more cars to correct a steering issue that causes certain models to deliberately aim for elderly pedestrians.

APRIL

General Motors, in what analysts view as a shrewd tactical move, announces that it is recalling 435,000 Fords.

JUNE

As California’s brutal drought worsens, state law-enforcement agents, operating under emergency authority granted by the legislature, raid Cher’s home and confiscate an estimated $3 million worth of moisturizer.

There's much more at the link.  Go read it all for a good laugh.




Peter

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I personally liked this one:

"...This new operation — against a group called “ISIL,” an abbreviation that stands for “ISIS” — is hampered when a technical glitch causes the Pentagon’s Operation Name Generator to spew out a string of unacceptable candidates, including Operation Staunch Bedspread, Operation Iron Tapeworm and Operation Thunderous Bidet..."