Today we have a double Doofus award - one to each side of the law in this incident in England.
A bungling raider who leapt from a supermarket roof will never walk properly again after he landed in the arms of the law on top of a police car.
David Hawkes and his uncle John Campbell were trying to smash their way into a branch of Sainsbury's when officers closed in after a tip-off.
In a desperate bid to avoid capture, Hawkes jumped off the roof, but shattered his leg in four places when he landed on top of a patrol vehicle.
Yeah . . . landing on top of the cop car isn't a good career move for a crook, much less crippling yourself! However, that's not the end of the case. Another award goes to the judge who conducted the trial.
The former Nissan worker was spared an immediate spell behind bars despite having 77 previous convictions and already being on two suspended prison sentences for other offences.
The judge told him: "You broke your leg in four places when you jumped from the roof. It has been said you are not a good burglar and I accept that is right on this occasion, but you do seem to keep trying."
The judge said the serious injuries he suffered were partly why she had been persuaded to give Hawkes another chance.
Seventy-seven previous convictions? I've met crooks like that. A record of that nature guarantees he's committed many other crimes that never made it to court. With a history like that, there's no way he'll be prevented by his injuries from returning to his life of crime. He needs to be locked up until he's too old and infirm to offend again. It might have been in society's best interests to refuse to treat his injuries, in the hope that they would have immobilized him permanently! (Yes, I know, that wouldn't be very merciful or very Christian. However, having dealt with as many criminals as I have, I have a realistic perspective about repeat offenders like this. They're not about to change.)
Thus, one Doofus award to a dumb crook, and another to a gullible judge.