Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Doofus Of The Day #696

Today's winner, courtesy of a link at Lagniappe's Lair, comes from New York.

Trent Patterson, 47, had initially been arrested for allegedly burglarizing the trendy Ted Baker clothing boutique in the Meatpacking District at around 5:50 a.m. Friday, along with four other suspects.

. . .

Then, as Patterson was in a holding cell at the Sixth Precinct station house, a 27-year-old man whose iPhone had been swiped used an app to track the device, according to the sources.

The victim, who was at the station house to report the theft, called his phone — and heard the ring coming from Patterson in a nearby cell.

When an officer confronted Patterson, the career criminal admitted that he’d hidden the phone up his butt and retrieved it, the sources said.

There's more at the link.

That's a pretty hefty thing to stick up there - and after learning where it had been, if I were the owner, I certainly wouldn't want it back!  On the other hand, I suppose this could be cited as a case of anus-ty being the best policy . . .



skidmark said...

Does the insurance you buy against damage/loss cover that?

stay safe.

Anonymous said...

What a dumbass

Anonymous said...

That's a dimension of butt-calling I never pictured--and wish I could unpicture now.


Mike_C said...

Yeesh. Apparently there's a section about prisoners hiding stuff in the rectum in Mary Roach's new book "Gulp: Adventures in the Alimentary Canal." In an NPR interview (I think Fresh Air) she talks about interviewing a con famed for his, uh, capacity. Also about a guy putting reading material and his reading glasses up there in preparation to being sent to solitary confinement.