A business proposal

I've been inspired by an e-mail from a friend in Alaska. D. complains that the very dry winter air causes major skin problems, and explains that up there, winter consumption of skin lotions, lip balm and the like goes through the roof.

I think there's a marketing opportunity here. We need to rig up a tub of something like Vaseline Intensive Care ("With Added Alaskan Whale Blubber And Genuine Aleutian Islands Seal Fat! Guaranteed Pure By Authentic Inuit Shamans!"), linked to the shower head through a siphon-action tube, dispensing a carefully metered dose when you press the button. (Couldn't have it dispensing it constantly, of course - that might make for an interesting combination with shampoo and conditioner . . . )

I've even got the perfect name for it. Given that 'weathering' of the skin is the problem, and verdigris is a well-known by-product of exposure to air, we could call it 'Verdi-Grease'. Of course, that might upset opera lovers, who regard Verdi as sacrosanct, and would never associate him with a musical like 'Grease' - but then, we could modify his operas slightly as a marketing tool. How about an Anchorage performance of 'Aida', with the Grand March replaced by the Grand Itch? (Solved, of course, by the application - on stage, in the altogether, by all the performers simultaneously, rhythmically keeping time to the music - of copious quantities of Verdi-Grease!) Think of the reviews next day!

I really think I've got something here. Any readers care to make suggestions as to how the idea can be improved? Any alternative products you can think of? How about fund-raising to finance the idea? Let's hear your thoughts in Comments.



Peter