Monday, August 3, 2009

Doofus Of The Day #251

Today's Doofus - who might be better described as a luckless Lothario - is from Wisconsin.

It seems Mr. Donessa Davis loved, not wisely, but too well. Quite apart from his wife, he had a string of lovers on the side - up to five, according to one report. Unfortunately for him, his wife found out about them. Even worse, she called them, and told them he'd been using them for sex and money. (Yes, they'd been paying the expenses of their trysts with him!) They plotted their revenge together.

One of the ladies lured him to a motel and, by promising him a massage (seemingly of the kinky variety), persuaded him to disrobe, wear a blindfold and lie on the bed, to which she tied him. She then let in the other ladies. They beat him, and used superglue to attach his manhood firmly to his stomach. They then left, taking his wallet, cellphone and car.

The women have now been charged with false imprisonment and other crimes. However, I can't help but feel sympathy for them. Down in this part of the world, if a guy carried on like that and the ladies got together to take their revenge, everyone - including the cops - would be laughing far too hard to chase them, and the general consensus would be that he got what he deserved! I can't think that a local jury would convict them of any crime.

I somehow doubt that the experience will change Mr. Davis' attitude towards women, though. If he has so little respect for them that he cheats on multiple partners simultaneously, one can only hope that he'll meet someone acquainted with - and inspired by - the Bobbitt case before too long!



Mango's Madness said...

My sweet departed wife would have cut everything off. She would not tolerate that bull for 10 seconds! I cant even think that I would have lived after that ordeal!!!

Crucis said...

He's lucky they glued his weenie to his stomach. They could have glued it to something much more sturdy and you can think of some other follow-up activities from there.

My grandmother told a story supposedly from the late 19th century about someone much like your doofus. In those times, men liked to advertise their virility via the size of their mustache.

In this particular case, the ladies tied the ends of the mustache to the bed post while the character was sleeping. Then they threw ice-cold water on him (must've been in the winter). You can imagine the results!

dshong37 said...

Hehe, he's from here in Wi, dumbshit is known in his hometown, trust me.