Today's winner (?) is from Dallas, Texas.
Nathan Pugh, a career criminal with 30 years experience in the field, demonstrated that he hasn't learned very much during that time.
His effort to rob Wells Fargo Bank began when he entered carrying a Whataburger bag, which he alleged contained a 'bom' (sic). He instructed the teller to put money in an envelope. Thinking fast, the teller indicated she'd need some ID to give him money - whereupon our resident genius handed over his Wells Fargo debit card. Continuing her good work, the teller asked how much money he wanted. When he asked for $2,000, she said she'd need more ID to give him that much. Yes, you guessed it: this time
I can't imagine how the teller managed to avoid exploding with laughter at this stage, but she kept her cool, and indicated she'd have to go to the back to get more money. Mr. Pugh decided he didn't want to wait, and settled for the $900 she had on hand. While putting that into an envelope for him, she activated her silent alarm.
Turning to leave, Mr. Pugh noticed cops arriving from all points of the compass, and made his final mistake of the day. He tried to take a woman client hostage to ensure his getaway. Unfortunately for him, he's only about 5' 6" tall, and slightly built. The lady he chose as a 'hostage' turned out to be rather stronger than he was, and wrestled him to the ground as the cops rushed in to rescue him from her attentions. He was led away to durance vile, minus his money, his ID, his bank card and his 'bom'.
With crooks that dumb, it's almost a pity to lock them up . . . it leaves room for someone smarter!
(You can read all about the fun and games in this news report.)