Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Doofus Of The Day #635


BIC, manufacturers of ballpoint pens and other writing instruments, have planted their advertising foot firmly in their corporate mouth with the launch of a new range of 'BIC For Her' pens aimed at the female market.  The Telegraph reports:

Stationery manufacturer BIC has provoked widespread online ridicule after designing a range of pink and purple pen just “for her”.

The pens, which are promoted as “designed to fit comfortably in a woman’s hand” comes in an “attractive barrel design available in pink and purple”.

Advertised exclusively for women, one version promises “smooth writing” and comes in a box of 12, writing in both blue and black ink.

While BIC’s intentions are no doubt sincere, the products have inspired a wave of online ridicule as women poke fun at their strategy.

Already attracting wry comment from feminist website Jezebel, the pens have now reached a global audience of outraged women.

Website Amazon has been flooded with hundreds of reviews from women, who managed to successfully navigate their computer keyboards to express their appreciation.

There's more at the link.

The Amazon reviews are hysterical!  Follow the last two links in the passage above to read some of them, and look for more of the 'BIC For Her' products on Amazon to read more reviews.  Here are a few of my favorites.

ME NEEDED PEN FOR TO WRITE. ME PICK UP PEN. PEN SMALL. PEN SAY 'FOR WO MAN'. I MAN. I USE PEN. PEN NO WRITE! WHY PEN NO WRITE!

PEN BREAK WHEN MAN SLAM PEN INTO MAN CAVE BRICK WALL. PEN GONE. STILL NEED PEN. STILL NEED WRITE.

BIC PEN FOR WO MAN NO WORK FOR ME MAN. WHAT 'WO' MEAN?

__________

I bought this for my wife, as she likes to have a comfortable grip on things that are 8" long and are pink and purple.

She seems happy about it, but me, less so.

__________

I don't know why they didn't put a clearer warning on the label, they really should have because if you are a boy and use this pen you put yourself at great risk. My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test.

__________

My only criticism of these wonderful pens is that I get a bit bored with all 12 looking the same. I get around this my customising each pack. At the moment, the pen I have in use is covered in stripes of glitter and I glued a pink pompom and one of those diamanté charms you get on mobile phones (I couldn't fit any more on my phone) onto the top. I think BIC should start adding pens like this to their range because some women find it difficult to hold tubes of superglue properly - I asked the 6 year old boy who lives next door to help me.

__________

After having gifted this precious item to my love and seeing her properly drawing unicorns and fairies for the first time (previously you see, it was as if the other pens--my pens--would take over and draw muscular mutated beasts with great big fangs and saddles loaded with projectiles and an assortment of cutlery not suitable for any kitchen work!) ... I did the unthinkable. I bought a set for myself. My love asked me what on earth I was doing with another set of "for her" pens and I immediately snapped back, "they're for our daughter!" But she reminded me, we don't have a daughter. Alas, I was caught in my own web of lies, and holding the pens, I broke down crying like a little girl--the little girl we didn't have, except in my own heart. I wept with my dearest until I felt closure from it all and finally came out! I gently grabbed the flower-templated paper I purchased with the pens and began writing in big smooth curvy letters--not the crooked hasty one's I was used to all my life with those blasted man pens; and drawing horses and poodles--not the tall one's mind you, but rather the cute little ones--and then heart shapes and innocent love letters (not the raunchy hair-raising instant-blush & faint one's I naturally spun out of a man-pen) and my poetry was filled with a noticeable feminine charm. I loved it. It felt so natural. Yet so guilty. Guilty, for having taking it from whatever poor woman came to the store that day to find the shelf depleted, and for my own self, for having given in to the temptation of experimenting with a different orientation.

. . .

UPDATE: ... I had to knock the pen down from five to four stars, not out of any weakness in of its own delicate nature, but due to its seductive charm, too potent to resist. My marriage is still intact, but I suspect my wife has gone back to another pen, a man's pen--the other day she said she needed the assurance and security of a stronger pen that can write boldly in times when she needs that testost--I mean ink, whilst I have forgotten how to weld my own!

You've got to love it . . .





Peter

6 comments:

Rev. Paul said...

That's good stuff, right there.

The Underground Pewster said...

Loved it.

Old NFO said...

Hilarious!

Toejam said...

I wonder what color ink it uses?

Tim said...

On the plus side, they've given a lot of people a lot of fun for nothing!

Luke said...

Wait until they find out that Swarovski has sparkly pens.