Saturday, September 5, 2009

A side-splitting conversation


I'm still laughing at a conversation reported by The Blogess (whose motto is 'Like Mother Teresa, only better'). She's speaking by telephone with her husband, having lost her way on the road (seemingly for the umpteenth time). An excerpt:

Me: Hello?

Victor: Where are you?! You’ve been gone an hour.

Me: I’m lost. Don’t yell at me.

Victor: You went to get milk, dude. You’ve been to that store a hundred times.

Me: Yes, but not at night. Everything looks all strange and I couldn’t see the signs and I guess I must’ve taken a wrong street and I’ve been driving aimlessly hoping for something to look familiar.

Victor: How can you get lost every damn time you leave the house?

Me: I don’t even think I’m in Texas anymore.

Victor: Mother** -

Me: DON’T YELL AT ME.

Victor: I’m not yelling at you. Just turn on the GPS and put in our address.

Me: I left it at home.

Victor: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Me: You said you wouldn’t yell at me!

Victor: That was before you left the Garmin at home. I BOUGHT IT EXPRESSLY BECAUSE OF YOU.

Me: Can’t you just tell me how to get home?

Victor: How am I supposed to help you get home, Jenny? I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.

Me: Okay…there are a lot of trees. And bushes. Or they might be horses. It’s too dark to tell.

Victor: Oh yeah, I know exactly where you are.

Me: Really?

Victor: No. You’re someplace where there may or may not be bushes. How is that helpful?


There's much more at the link. Language alert for the sensitive - there are a few f-bombs floating around. Nevertheless, it's very funny, and recommended reading.

Peter

2 comments:

Crucis said...

Hmmm, there was a similar episode last week on the "Zits" cartoon strip.

Son, with brand-new license, gets lost on way to store, in another state. After finally navigating way home, father buys son a GPS system.

All that aside, I once worked with a guy who DID get lost in the wrong state. He was sent on a service call to El Dorado, MO. Instead, he went to El Dorado, KS and then proceeded to get lost.

WV: fercep. Yep, he needed a fercep to extract his head from his...

raven said...

Ha- got lost yesterday for the first time in years. Knew generally where I was and decided to take a shortcut through unfamiliar territory. Was on a Penninsula so could not get too far lost-I thought. So after a few wrong turns and 10 miles or so I realized There was a low, roiling overcast so I could not see the sun, it was low enough so I could not see terrain, and the roads were anything but a straight grid pattern. fortunately I had plenty of gas! I knew I had to go north but had absolutely no idea where it was. No lodestone or GPS of course. No Map either...!