Sunday, November 16, 2008

New skin from the old ceremony?

Oy gevalt!

It seems that circumcision isn't only useful as a Covenant ceremony, or an aid to male cleanliness - it now produces cells for facial enhancement!

This treatment, called Vavelta, has been developed by the British biomedical company Intercytex. What is radical about it is that it seems to rejuvenate and restructure ageing and damaged skin from the inside by repopulating the lower layers of the skin with millions of healthy young skin cells.

Unlike fillers and Botox, it is claimed to be permanent.

Vavelta is a clear liquid in which tiny skin cells, called fibroblasts, are suspended. These are derived from baby foreskins donated by mothers at a hospital in the U.S. after routine circumcision.

The mothers and babies are screened before the foreskins, which would otherwise be discarded, are used.

Once in Britain, they are divided into pieces less than a centimetre square and treated with enzymes to release the fibroblasts. These are grown in sterile conditions in labs.

The process is monitored by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in the U.S. and by Britain's Human Tissue Authority.

Fibroblast cells are responsible for the repair and maintenance of youthful skin, pumping out collagen to create a line-free complexion.

But as we age, they become dormant and many die. In trials, Vavelta appears to make skin smoother, thicker, more resilient and younger.

The treatment is not instant as the cells need time to settle into the dermis before they start to reproduce and stimulate new collagen, so results can take a month or more to register.

Vavelta is so new that results of the final clinical trials - on burns scars - aren't completed. But so far, it seems to work for most people and, in some cases, it is astonishingly effective.

. . .

A vial of Vavelta costs £750 [$1,100], and to treat two cheeks for acne scarring would need two.

By contrast, Botox costs from £250 [$366] and fillers are from £300 [$440].

However, Vavelta's advocates say it appears to be able to treat conditions for which there is no other effective solution and, unlike laser treatment, there is no need for recovery time.

Well . . . whatever floats your boat, I guess!

I have only one minor quibble.

The foreskins used to make this treatment are, of course, from male babies . . . and it's being injected into female facial tissue to treat acne scars and other problems.

Twelve to fifteen years from now, as they 'grow up', will those male cells begin producing facial hair?



Anonymous said...

To not only step on your joke, but mangle it and shred it in the name of insufferably pendantry...

No, because like breasts and lactation, skin cells that can produce facial hair are a unisex trait that's determined by the hormones present. That's why female-to-male transsexuals (and imprudent female bodybuilders) can grow a beard as soon as they've been on testosterone for a bit...

Anonymous said...

Will the term "d1ckface" stop being an insult when it becomes a statement of fact?


Ambulance Driver said...

I got a foreskin wallet for my birthday.

If you rub it, it turns into a briefcase.

I'm here all week, folks. Try the veal, and be sure to tip your waitress.

Anonymous said...

Will their faces shrivel when they are exposed to cold temperatures?