Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Geeks and dorks unite!

The sheer stupidity of this gives me a fit of the giggles.

It seems that a popular online game, Age of Conan, allows players to 'design' their own 'avatar' to represent them in the game. It further appears that many players (perhaps indulging in adolescent fantasies?) have made their avatars . . . how shall I put this? . . . somewhat, er, over-endowed in the mammary gland department.

Until technology intervened.

Computer gamers have staged a revolt after the gravity-defying breasts of characters in a popular game were suddenly reduced.

Many were angry that their previously pert avatars - which they had spent hours creating into icons of exaggerated femininity - now appeared to have "saggy" breasts.

Some players even threatened to withdraw their subscriptions to the online game, claiming that the Norwegian makers Funcom were censoring their buxom characters.

"If this isn't fixed in a reasonable amount of time, ie a day or two, I will be un-subscribing," one player, calling himself Dusk, wrote on the game's official forum.

Multi-player fantasy games like Age of Conan are particularly popular among teenage boys, but even some of the game’s female players were upset at the unannounced change.

"Funcom did reduce the size of the breasts. There is almost no cleavage, just a flat area between them. And YES they do sag," a player called Krystal wrote.

Amid growing anger at the sudden change in the game, which was only launched last month, Funcom decided to act.

In a message posted on a gamers' forum, it said that the maximum breast size had been reduced in error during a programming alteration carried out to fix other bugs.

It also promised that all affected characters would soon be re-enlarged

"Funcom can confirm that some of the female models in the game have had the size of their breasts changed," the statement said.

"This is due to an unintended change in data that was introduced in an earlier patch, data which controls the so-called morph values associated with character models and the size of their respective body parts.

"We are working on a fix for this and your breasts should be back to normal soon."

Hee-hee! Dorks and geeks sure get worked up about pixellated protrusions, don't they? The picture below shows the before-and-after effect.

Speaking as a combat veteran, I have some news for these guys (and gals, where applicable). Large, protruding breasts will be a severe handicap in any serious fight. They affect balance, they mean that certain weapons can't be easily used without causing bruising and pain, and they offer a more easily reached target for an enemy's sword.

The complainers might want to think about that when they design their next avatar . . . but I suspect they won't. After all, combat realism isn't exactly a hallmark of computer games.



Evil Transport Lady said...

I'm sorta glad that's the only parts enlarged, I've seen much worse on the interweb.

Rogue Medic said...

Well, now that Hef is happy . . .

I was surprised that they were not comically large (yes, comically, not conically). These seem to be what women walk out of the plastic surgeon's office with on a regular basis.