Pain, blogging, and life

I've had a couple of readers ask about the nights I don't blog much.  I guess when you put up four to five posts a day, readers get used to the regularity of it all, and miss their daily 'dose'.  Tonight's another night when I won't be blogging much, so I thought I'd take a little time to explain why.

Back in 2004, I was badly injured in a work-related incident.  That led to two surgeries, and left me with a fused lower spine, permanent damage to the sciatic nerve in my left leg, and in constant pain.  On a scale of 1 low to 10 high, I'm always - 24/7/365 - in a 2-3 state of pain, spiking to 4-5 on bad days.  Occasionally, I'll have a really bad day, when the pain's so bad I just don't want to move at all.  Today was one of those days, probably a 7 out of 10, sometimes spiking to 8-9.

I used to be on permanent pain medication to deal with this, but I got off it after I had my heart attack back in October 2009.  You see, after that incident I ended up with a total of 9 prescription medications, which I was taking each and every day.  6 out of the 9 had the documented side-effect of weight gain;  and I guess some of them decided to gang up on me and reinforce that effect.  I put on over 100 pounds, despite serious efforts to control it, and I just can't seem to shake it.  With medical clearance, I'm currently following an extremely restricted diet, but even so I'm struggling to lose more than a pound or so each week.  My metabolism has never shaken off the effects of that combination of drugs.  They really did a number on me.

In a (successful) attempt to stop the weight gain (even if I haven't as yet been able to reverse it), I stopped taking 6 out of the 9 medications prescribed for me, limiting myself to only those essential for heart health.  That's helped to minimize the drug-interaction complications I experienced in 2010-11.  Unfortunately, it also means that on most bad pain days I can't keep things under control as well as I used to.  Today was bad enough that I broke down and took two strong painkillers (I still have some stored from my pain management prescriptions).  They don't necessarily take away the pain, but after a while I stop caring!  Talk about 'warm fuzzies' . . .

So, that's why blogging will be light tonight.  I'll get some sleep (I'm never able to get more than 4-5 hours at a stretch, because my back and leg pain will wake me), then put up more posts early tomorrow morning.

(By the way, please don't think I'm complaining about my lot in life.  I went through many experiences in South Africa - some of which will be known to regular readers - that could have killed or crippled me.  I'm very grateful to have survived them and be alive today!  As for my 2004 injury, I know others who've experienced similar problems who are much worse off than I am.  They have to get around in wheelchairs or mobility scooters.  So far, I can still walk, albeit not very fast or for very long distances.  I have a lot to be grateful for, and I know it.  I'm going to go on making the most out of life, and enjoying the good days as much as I can.  I'll endure the bad pain days as being the other side of the coin.)

That's one reason why Miss D. and I make such a good couple.  She's endured several serious injuries of her own, including being the (pedestrian) meat filling in a two-car sandwich.  When either of us has a bad pain day, the other genuinely understands exactly how we're feeling.  The shared experience of pain helps us support each other.  I'm sure we'd both rather have missed that experience, but you know what they say.  If life gives you lemons - make lemonade!

I'll talk with y'all tomorrow.  Sleep well, friends.

Peter