According to the Borowitz Report (with tongue firmly in cheek):
Days after Secret Service agents shortchanged a group of prostitutes in Colombia, the international trade group representing hookers downgraded the United States’ credit rating from AAA to B.
. . .
The statement from the International Alliance of Professional Escorts said that in downgrading the United States’ credit rating it was sending a clear message that its “members should be aware that doing business with the government of the United States carries with it a significant risk.”
. . .
But it was not all bad news this week for the Secret Service, which today reported a 5000% jump in enlistment.
There's more at the link.