Thursday, July 22, 2010

Weird iPhone apps

I've come across references to a few really strange-sounding applications ('apps') for Apple's iPhone. I thought you might be interested in a few of them. I've listed them in alphabetical order. Click on the name to be taken to the app's page on Apple's iTunes catalog.


Claims to rate how well you lick. Version 1.1 is said to be:


Why the plastic wrap? It's for purposes of hygiene, apparently . . . although if it tears, I daresay you'd be practicing lickety-split!

Paranormal State EMF Meter:

"... turns your device into a simulated EMF meter. Paranormal investigators use EMF meters to check for electromagnetic fields, which are emitted by nearly everything in nature, and could be a sign from the beyond. Delve deep into the strange and the mysterious with your Paranormal State EMF meter. Scan your surroundings for suspicious activity. Got a reading? Move slowly back and forth to hone in on the exact location. Or switch to manual mode and fool your friends by sliding your finger along the green line to control the action of the needle."


"Ever wondered if how well you compared to other people during sex, well now you can with Passion. This iPhone application measures how well you perform during sex, and gives you a rating from 0 to 10, 10 being the highest. Then you can go online and see how well you did against the rest of the world. Passion works by using all of the iPhone’s distinct features such as the microphone, accelerometer and many others to determine an accurate score. All you have to do is start the application, put your iPhone on the bed, in an arm band, or even in your pocket and have i*********e, it is as easy as that. Once you are finished, press the stop button and view your results."

(I note that you have to have an Internet connection the first time you use this app. Lends a new meaning to the term 'plug-and-play', doesn't it?)

Virtual Voodoo:

"With Virtual Voodoo you can use the full power of the New Orleans Voodoo. No matter if you are seeking for love or you want to send some bad vibes to someone you can do it. You don't know the meaning of the different Voodoo pins? No problem just touch a pin for a while and the meaning of this pin is shown.

"To make it even more efficient you can personalize the doll with a photo from your photo album or take a new one with your camera (iPhone only). After that use the built in screenshot feature to take a photo of your doll to send to your friend or victim.

"Use the built in accelerometer or the touchscreen of your iPhone or iPod touch to push the doll around for maximizing your Voodoo spell or use it just as a stress relieve (sic)."

Wart Healer:

No longer available on the iTunes App store, but still available from the developer, whose Web site states:

"Wart Healer provides wart removal via mental healing. Wart Healer is the first iPhone app offering professional and reliable mental healing services. Behind Wart Healer is a professional mental healer who specializes in long distance wart healing.

. . .

How does wart healing work?

During the wart healing process the healer tries to remove the wart on a spiritual level, working on the person's energy. The goal is that the wart falls off or dries out without leaving any scare. Wart healing is always practiced during a the moon's decreasing phase. The client does not have to be present, a picture of the wart is sufficient. It can take up to 111 days until first effects are visible.

What do I have to do?

It is easy to use Wart healer. All you have to do is follow these steps:

1) Download the application.

2) Upload a picture of the wart.

3) Be patient. The healer starts working during the moon's next decreasing phase and first visible effects can take up to 111 days.

Note: You can only upload one wart picture (that means that the purchase of the application includes the work on only one wart). However, the application offers the possibility to purchase another upload (as an In-App purchase)."

One download, one wart? At $12.99 a time, is it wart the price?



Anonymous said...

That's brilliant (the wart app). I'm going to now make something similar. An app for women that channels their mental strength to increase the size of their breasts. Just take a picture, upload it to my server, and follow the program. A new picture may be required each month.

Of course, I'll have to review the pictures to monitor the quality of the application's results.

LabRat said...

I think anyone who would use an iPhone app to rate their performance in bed gets an automatic zero.

Imagining sleeping with such a partner is making me more frigid than the surface of Neptune just based on the idea alone.