Wednesday, May 18, 2011

It's like a crystalline venereal disease!

I've written before about the phenomenon known as 'vajazzling' - the decoration of a woman's shaved nether regions with various sizes and colors of crystals. You can see a description and photographs of the process here, and a video clip of proceedings here (warning - the links may not be safe for work!).

Now, according to the Daily Mail, there's a male equivalent.

It was an inevitable twist in a tawdry tale. Following on from the almost cult-level success of the 'vajazzle' comes its evil twin brother, the 'pejazzle'.

. . .

According to salon owners, 40 per cent of customers requesting the body bling are men.

As a result, the online supplier of the crystal designs has responded by designing a range of stick-on crystals just for men, named Pejazzles.

And who better than to launch the range than TOWIE star, club promoter and self-confessed Pejazzler, Mark Wright?

Mark is, he says, 'keen to speak out' for the growing number of men he claims are Pejazzling.

'Women don't necessarily want a rough and ready man. Some prefer a man who's groomed and takes care of himself. It's each to their own,' he says.

But can a man really be taken seriously while decorated with Swarovski crystals - especially 'down there', as Mark calls it?

Mark is adamant they can. 'Men wear diamond watches and bling earrings - this is no different,' he says.

He advises users shave the hair before applying the crystals, or for the 'very hairy', a judicious waxing or laser session could be necessary.

For those feeling understandably reticent, Mark insists it's not only the nether regions that can be decorated with crystals.

He wears his own on the left-hand side of his abdomen, while others use the crystals to adorn arms, chest or back.

There's more at the link.

The same process is sometimes called 'penazzling', and you can find pictures of it here. (Again, that link may not be safe for work.) For that matter, you can do something similar to your head (again, after removing the hair). They call it 'baldazzling', which seems appropriate.

For the life of me, I can't understand men (or women) who'd do this to themselves. I'm sure there are those who find it aesthetically pleasing, or sexy, or whatever . . . but to me, it's just tacky beyond words. I don't know what it costs to have this done to yourself (and renewed frequently - apparently a 'treatment' lasts only five days or so), but whatever it is (and I'm sure it's expensive), you may as well flush that money down the toilet. IMHO, it'll do you as much good!



Wayne Conrad said...

In my youth, people who did such things would have been called primitives. Just another sign that I am well and truly old.

Anonymous said...

That has GOT to be even worse than kissing someone who is wearing braces on their teeth!