Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Actual answers to examination questions

British comedian Richard Benson has published a new book, 'F in Exams: The Funniest Test Paper Blunders'. The Daily Mail has published excerpts, and I found myself crying with laughter at some of the entries. Here are a few for your entertainment:

Q: What is a nitrate?
A: Much cheaper than a day rate.

Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
A: Unusual names.

Q: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
A: Learning to speak Latin.

Q: Name six animals which live specifically in the Arctic.
A: Two polar bears, four seals.

Q: Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld.
A: Mrs. Orpheus.

Q: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom.

Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
A: Mariah Carey.

Q: Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand-alone computer system?
A: It doesn't come with a chair.

Q: Steve is driving his car. He is traveling at 60 feet per second, and the speed limit is 40 mph. Is Steve speeding?
A: He could find out by checking his speedometer.

There are many more at the link. That book's going on my shopping list for sure!



Julie said...

hilarious! esp the "Expand 2(x+y)" one ....

The Raving Prophet said...

Doesn't look like one I left made the list.

It was a test on Old Testament History in college. I was kicking rear on this test- nailing it right and left. Until I got to a short answer question of "What was the Moabite Stone?"

Now, I paid attention in class. I took good notes. I studied. And I drew a COMPLETE blank. Now I know that the answer is that it is an archaeological relic telling of fighting between Moab and Israel. I know it NOW. Then, I had nothing. So what did I put?

"A 1960s pot-fest in Moab, Utah."

When I finished the test and turned it in, I left the class (was done for the period). The prof. was grading them and eventually came on that little tidbit. Reports indicate he did a *headdesk* and read my answer aloud to the class.

Bob said...

Dr. Seuss illustrated a collection of such howlers, called Herrings Go About The Sea In Shawls, although the book was originally entitled simply Boners. It's quite funny.