Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Men being men - a good idea!

Via several other bloggers who've linked to it, I became aware of a magnificent article at North. Here's an excerpt.

I grew up with sitcoms that bashed the cigar-smoking, poker playing man. Tide commercials with women wrinkling their noses at the presence of a man's laundry. What was communicated was that there was something wrong with men in general. Or at least that was what was driven into me.

But the caveman was fixed by making him a sensitive wimp. The gruff man was emasculated. Cut down, not improved. Man became polyester disco weenies, man became preppy effeminate pansies. And now what does the world have as a result?

The caveman could be called upon to change the oil in your Chevy. The caveman would repair a woman's roof, build things. Kill spiders. The caveman might have grunted too much, may have drank too much. Wasn't polite in mixed company. But the caveman was a man.

A transition occurred. It was once that the "Wifey" served up a steak meal for her man. Unfair and sexist, and fuel for a positive change. The change, though, turned modern man into a weak passive herbivore. Modern man was forced to fix his faults by no longer being a man.

The fix to 'improve' man took away too much. Watered a strong man down to a woman that could grow facial hair - but wouldn't of course. Men were conditioned to be sensitive, but as a result became nonsupporting. Men would cry with you, but no longer have a shoulder to cry upon.

It is the passionate carnivore that is needed. Modern man needs to be a man. A man that is masculine, but still a gentleman. A man that will show strength FOR a woman, not just TO a woman. A man that will work not for a wage, but for a family - for the honor and integrity of completing an honest day's work to provide and protect.

You can be a gentleman that has the caveman's masculine skills, but not bluntly delivered. Strength, not aggression. Character, not abruptness. Polite presence, not boorish intrusion. Persevere, don't retreat.

Step away from what others have defined for you. Don't be the man watered down by political correctness. Be an improved man for your wife, girlfriend, lover, friends, and family. Define your masculinity by the strength of your character.

There's more at the link. Excellent reading!

I guess I don't altogether 'get' the anti-masculine emphasis among feminists and their ilk. Perhaps that's because I come from Africa, where to be 'manly' (in the classical sense) is rather more important than it is in other parts of the world. Sure, you can be a 'metrosexual' in a big African city (if you don't mind being laughed to scorn) . . . but drive a few miles out of town, where there are things with teeth and horns and hooves that don't like you, and see how far your 'metrosexuality' will get you (and your loved ones) as a survival skill!



suz said...

"Step away from what others have defined for you." Hah! Well said (not that "passionate carnivore" is a definition that may or may not fit a man.) Some men have always been preppy effeminate pansies and some men have always been in-your-face cavemen. Real men don't care how others define them, and never did. And real men don't whine about it.

North said...

Thank you, Peter, for the kind words!

Diamond Mair said...

Thoroughly enjoyed {fortunately for me, I'm married to a manly man ;-) }

If you don't mind the comparison, it seems you're taking up the "men's side" of Peggy Noonan's Welcome Back, Duke

I'm so damn TIRED of seeing men portrayed as boorish/asinine/STUPID caricatures - and my "feminist bonafides" are comparable to most femisogynists {c'mon, now, how many Women Marines do you know? ;-) }- I've PROVEN my abilities, and am eternally thankful for my husband's maintaining of HIS masculinity .................

Semper Fi'

Silver the Evil Chao said...

I dunno, maybe it's because I've never really been "normal" to begin with, but I think "traditional" gender roles are stupid, mainly because I've never been good at normal "girl" things (cooking, makeup, cleaning) while being good at "guy" things (programming, electronics, video games) - and people are normally ok with that. But if the genders are flipped, there is far more resistance and hatred from others, which I believe is counterproductive and runs counter to the idea that members of both genders are of equal legal status. If being girly/not-"manly" is such a bad thing, then what does that say about girls?

North said...

I think part of your answer is in your own comment. That is don't force behavior to fit certain expectations. You would no more enjoy being told that you should do the girl-things if you like the guy-things. Or that you should do guy-things if you like girl things.

Women were told for years that they need to do girl-things - careers for women were stewardess or secretary. Women fought to get that changed.

Now you have a choice, Silver. You CAN still be a secretary, though.

Per your examples I can program, good at electronics, I cook really well... I can do so and be mature and masculine. I can stand tall being what I am and not have to change to meet anyone's expectations.

I help my lovely wife clothes shop because I'm good at it. I own and use a chaffing dish because I'm a hell of a cook. I work until I'm sweaty and dirty. I carry a weapon to defend my family's lives. I can frame a house. I open doors for women... and men.

I don't want to give up half of that list because of the expectation of someone else.

If you get stuck in a snow bank south of GF; one message from your mom, Silver, and I toss a tow rope into the truck, drive for 5 hours, and yank your car out even if it means yanking my back out. I'll drip sweat and smell when I'm done, and I'll go home proud to have helped you.

I am the best man I can be. No apologies to society.

Old NFO said...

Perceptions vs. personas vs. reality... here we go again :-)