Today's award goes to a sexually warped - not to mention frustrated! - gentleman (?) in Guenzberg, Germany.
Police staged a full scale poison alert after a kinky dominatrix ordered her slave to walk the streets wearing his PVC catsuit and a gas mask.
Petrified locals in Guenzburg, Germany, dialed 999 after spotting the slave rolling in the snow gasping for breath under his full-face rubber mask.
"We thought he was dying. We saw the gas mask and immediately thought terrorists were trying to poison us," said one caller.
But the red faced submissive told police that his roll in the snow had been part of his training as a slave and he'd been ordered to do it by his 'mistress' as a punishment.
Police warned him and his dominatrix about their behaviour but did not press charges.
"He was acting voluntarily and he hadn't actually broken any laws so no action could be taken against him.
"I guess any punishment we could come up with just wouldn't compare to what he's used to," said one officer.
Uh . . . um . . . yes, well, quite!