Doofus Of The Day #345

Here's a hint to would-be blackmailers and extortionists: it pays to check out your target carefully before putting your plans into action. Today's Doofus, from Wisconsin, found that out the hard way.

An Appleton woman's attempt to extort $500,000 from an upscale Grand Chute restaurant was "crazy and outlandish," her defense attorney said Friday at her sentencing.

Debbie Miller will spend nine months in jail and four years on probation instead of collecting hush money after planting a rat in her lunch.

. . .

She pleaded no contest in January to a felony extortion charge and a misdemeanor for obstructing police. She planted the dead animal in her food April 17, 2008, before asking for the money in exchange for keeping quiet about the incident. She threatened to alert the media if the money wasn't paid.

Police arrested Miller nearly three months later after an investigation conducted by the restaurant's insurance company.

. . .

At the urging of one of their cooks, restaurant owners Bob and Jessica Doller kept the rat after the extortion attempt. Insurance investigators sent it for testing and determined that it was a domestic white rat that had been cooked in a microwave. The restaurant doesn't use microwaves.

Police determined that Miller purchased the rat days before the incident.

There's more at the link.

Uh-huh . . . checking on the ovens and cooking tools used by the restaurant might have brought Ms. Miller more success; but I'm glad she didn't bother to do that. I hope she enjoys the prison food. Based on my experience as a prison chaplain, I can assure her that it's rather more likely to contain rats (and cockroaches, and inmate kitchen assistants' body fluids, and other nasties) than your average restaurant meal - and her chances of suing for redress and compensation are pretty minimal!

Peter