Today's winner comes from England.
An accident-prone husband has been banned from DIY by his wife after one too many trips to the [emergency] department.
Barry Witham has sliced open his thigh with a Stanley knife [for American readers, that's a boxcutter] while trying to fit a carpet, stabbed himself in the wrist while repairing loudspeakers and fallen through a ceiling while fetching a Christmas tree from his sister's loft.
The 36-year-old former soldier also brought down a substantial chunk of his kitchen ceiling after a repair job on a light fitting went badly wrong.
His wife, Donna, has now put her foot down and says he will not be doing anything more strenuous than wallpaper-stripping in future.
There's more at the link.
Oh, well . . . at least his wife doesn't object to his being involved with stripping (even if it is only wallpaper!) . . .