Today's Doofus is from Russia - and boy, is he a Doofus, or what?
A Russian man survived after downing three bottles of vodka and leaping from a fifth-floor balcony - twice.
Alexei Roskov says he jumped the second time because he couldn't take his wife's nagging about the first time.
Roskov's wife, Yekaterina, had watched in horror as her drunken husband opened the kitchen window of their Moscow apartment, and hurled himself out.
Astonishingly Roskov, 22, survived and managed to stagger back upstairs with barely a scratch after the fall.
But while his wife called for an ambulance and began to scold him, he jumped again.
Amazed medics treated Roskov for minor cuts and bruises before releasing him.
Roskov says he is now 100-percent sober after giving up drinking, and added: "Now I can say just one thing - I was very lucky.
"I have no idea why I jumped the first time but when I came back up and I heard my wife screaming angrily at me I thought it was best if I left the room again - out of the window."
Verily, the mind doth boggle . . .